My Theological Thoughts

I wanna go deeper
But I don't know how to swim
I wanna be meeker
But have you seen this old Earth?
I wanna fly higher
But these arms won't take me there
I wanna be
I wanna be

Challenges I've been facing with God lately are to 'go deeper' in a way that is relevant to myself. Let's face it, I tend to be very good at faking the whole 'Christianese Lifestyle'. It's especially easy, now that I go to a Bible College. So I've been challenged to be real. I've decided to only make changes in my life only if I feel compelled to do it, because of my love for God. So I didn't stop swearing right away, even though it would have been quite easy, due to the bubble environment I live in. I drop the occasional F-bomb when I get angry (or to be fair, sometimes I do it purely for the shock factor it weilds), I don't do things that I normally would be compelled to do out of guilt.

Does this new style have its perks? It sure does. I've found that a lot of coworkers have a greater respect for me, because I don't have a problem with their swearing, and that I don't judge them for their lifestyle. I've learned to accept people for who they are, and reflect the same love that Jesus has presented to me.

As a Christian, I would like to challenge my fellow Christians to be real, with people and with God. Romans 12:9 in The Message says it best: "Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it."

So how is this all working out for me? It has its downs (I do admit that I have some struggles in life), but I feel it's starting to work. I've been compelled to do nice things for people (I think even little stuff goes noticed), I talk to God as if He is real, instead of me running for Miss America (thanks, Bruce Almighty), and I do talk to Him more often. And all this is because I love God, not because I've been guilted into doing it. Now if only I would start reading my Bible a little more often, and hopefully curb the language habit at some point. I think those will come in their own time though.

So in going deeper, I think I'll maybe write a prayer by picking at those lyrics I posted earlier:
->I don't know how to swim= I don't know how to go deeper, God, please give me wisdom to do so;
->I wanna be meeker, but have you seen this whole earth= God, teach me Your humility and grace;
->I wanna fly higher, but these arms won't take me there= God, I can't do this on my own, I need to depend on Your strength and wisdom to get me there;
->I wanna be, I wanna be= God, please remind me that I want to find favour in Your eyes, not the world's. I want to be a person with a heartbeat for holiness.
Amen.

In closing, I'd like to quote that verse again:
Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it.