Baking is Fun!

So now that I'm finished at the Sherwood, I have some time on my hands. I ended up sleeping in till noon today, and BOY did that feel good! Tess and I went for coffee and hung out for a little bit, and then I came home and laid on the couch for a bit :D.

And after supper, I got this craving!!!! APPLE CRISP!!!! I WANT IT NOW! So I went and bought some apples and sat down to peel. They're now baking in the oven, and in half an hour, I will be enjoying delicious homemade apple crisp! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

See you all at school next week. For those of you here, I have a week left, so come harass me sometime!

FOO FRICKEN FIGHTERS!!!

Ok, I finally did it.

Everyone has those lists of bands they would sell their left testicle to see.

I didn't have to sell much, but I finally got to see my number one favorite band last night!

That's right. The Foo's. They kicked so much ass. No words can explain how awesome it was.

(for here) My Heart is Satisfied Within Your Presence

Well, whether we choose to do something about it or not, God is at work in our lives.

This past week has been a really awesome week with me. Not that anything spectacular happened or I had some breakthrough or epiphany or something. I just sort of came to a realization that I'm trying to steer my own ship. It's wrong. God's the one steering.... and if He's steering, and I want to go in a different direction, I'm essentially treading water. Do I want to do that? No.

So upon that realization, my whinging and despair over returning to school came to a screeching halt, and I went and bought school supplies with Brett on Saturday. Then Sunday, I started packing away all my books, and making a mental list of all those things that need to be bought before I leave (or perhaps when I arrive, if Nic wants to spend some quality time shopping ;).

This Sunday is my turn to lead at church again. I'm so terrible at picking out songs. It just takes a lot more thought than you'd think. And prayer, and testing them out to see what goes with what. In my head, I've really been circling around the song Give Us Clean Hands lately, and I think it really makes a statement about the direction that I'm trying to steer myself into (and away from the pit of self-despair). So, in this attitude, I think I'll post my mission statement for the next little bit, until I get it right:

We bow our hearts
We bend our knees
O Spirit come make us humble

We turn our eyes
From evil things
O Lord we cast down our idols

Give us clean hands
Give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another

And O God let us be a generation that seeks
That seeks Your face, O God of Jacob

So yeah, I guess I can change all the we's and our's to me's. I need to be humbled, I need to cast down the idols that I've built up, and I need to set aside my time so that I become a person that seeks God's face. Who's with me?

My French Keyboard

For those of you who don't know, my keyboard... well... it's in french. My brother bought it at like walmart or something. I've been so used to it over the years that I know where everything is.

But wait. The keyboard has met its match!!!!

Yes, I have gone wireless. I bought a wireless mouse and keyboard, and they're very, VERY beautiful, with nice black buttons and quick buttons and such! The mouse, she be wireless too! (no smashing the mouse on my desk, right Nic?)

Oh, but it gets better! I also bought a new speaker system, complete with gigantic subwoofer too!!!!

Praise the Lord for my wholsaling brother! Brodie, they're beautiful! No more french keyboard!

It's Not About Me (As If You Should Do Things My Way)

So after my formal invitation to you all yesterday to my pity party, Ireceived a healthy God-given dose of

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, TERRIN!

The blow came to me yesterday when I found out that someone at work died. I was shocked. I know that it comes with the territory, but I would never have guessed that she would be someone to die this summer. I really, really liked her. We had many chats, and she came out on lots of outings, hung out with me and the dog, and I got to know her a little. She had two kids, and loved her family dearly. The only thing that saddens me is that as far as I know, she wasn't a Christian. (Before you judge me and ask why I never asked her about Christianity, the home does have rules outlining people pushing about whatever religion they're peddling. I could only witness if she initiated the conversation).

At work, I have this summer project at work where I make what they would call 'storyboards'. It's my pet project. I do an interview with a resident, take pictures, and piece together like a scrapbook page of stuff for them and put it up on their door. This woman's was the second one I ever did. She was a neat lady. She had some sauce, and definitely entertained me. I liked coming to bug her and asked her lots about her family and life. I'm going to miss her for the rest of the summer. So with that all said, rest in peace, Belle. I sure hope you got tomeet Jesus somewhere along the way.

The funeral is tommorrow (Thursday) so please pray for her family. Even though someone is old, it is still hard when they die.

My Confessions of a Twenty-Something Drama Queen

For starters, today, being August 1st, is my brother Tyler's 27th birthday. Happy birthday, Ty!

So let's skip all the niceties after that and get to the matter at hand.

I don't feel right.

Mystery numero uno:
I am not excited, in any way, by any stretch of the world's imagination to go back to school. Usually by August 1st in my school days, and even last summer, I was giddier than a Christmas ham (whatever that means) to get going back to school. Yes, I am the weirdest person... ever. Back to school shopping was fun, hell, applying for student loans last year was even fun.

But this year, I had this horrible, horrible uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach when I received my back to school packet, when I applied for student loans, when I got my assessment, and when I signed my life away and mailed it to the loans office. Is this normal?

I have always believed that I am doing exactly what I have been called to do. Like, since I was 15, I knew that Bible College was the answer. I was to do it, no questions asked, scathing remarks from those who didn't understand were ignored, and I stubbornly (and hopefully obediently) took affirmative action.

So am I still being obedient, even though my gut is telling me otherwise? Maybe other factors are causing me to feel this way...

-Could it be that I'm going to have to spend another eight lonely months away from home, all alone, complete with frustrations due to to the fact that even though I have proven it many times over, 'the man' still doesn't believe that I, Terrin Hay, am in fact, a mature adult, who has proven over my time after highschool that I am capable of making a variety of decisions over and over again for my well being, simply by using my discresion and personal conscience?
Could it be that I have just become very comfortable in my skin here in Manitoba?
Could it be that I have fallen in love with my summer job and don't really want to give it up?
Could it be that I have fallen in love with a wonderful guy and don't want to be away from him?
Could it be that I have realized (in very poor timing) that I am now going another eleven grand in the hole, and I have some serious questions that involve my involvement in future ministry, with all plausibility being in the air?

To sum some things up.... let's just say I have my doubts about this next year.

Mystery number two
I feel like shit lately. All I want to do is sleep. It's not a depression type sleep... I've had those. It's more like... 'oh my gosh, if I don't get 12 hours of sleep tonight, I will most definitely be a complete zombie tomorrow, complete with pale face and groggy eyes still at 3 in the afternoon.

Mystery number three
I don't know. I just don't feel right. Someone please just tell me it's horomonal... or to suck it up or something. Please!