My Heavenly Father

Love, I need love
You are Love
I need You
Love, You are Love
I need Love
I need You

Ask anyone on earth what their deepest desire in life is. A shallow person may tell you that they are after money, or a hot car, or sex. But we all want to be loved. See, that shallow person wants money, cars and sex so that people will love them. We were created to long for love and affection....

Let's clarify this a little. I'm not talking about the love that your parents, or girlfrind/boyfriend, kittens, children or carpet samples can offer. This is about you and God. You see, God actually Love. His very essence is Love. His motivation is Love, He IS love!

So what does that have to do with us?

We were born with this God-shaped hole in us. Not literally, of course, that would actually probably be a lot easier. Like one of those tupperware balls with the yellow plastic shapes. It's sad that most of us don't realize that that hole we have can only be filled by God (all 90's kids now have an Xtreme song stuck in their heads). That hole is often filled with the wrong shapes. The star so doesn't fit into the pentagon shape, people!

We need God. We were born with that need. We need him just the same as we need warmth, oxygen, water and food. So it begs the question... what are you filling that hole with? Because it doesn't fit if it's not God.

Even Christians can do this. I've spent much time as a Christian, filling that hole with the wrong thing. The circle shape does not go in the pentagon hole, Terrin.

So how do we fill that hole.
Step one is starting a relationship. God desperately wants you to get to know him. My friend of a freind told me so! Just kidding. But God really does want to have a relationship with you.

Step two would be getting to know God. Pray, READ THE BIBLE, learn all you can about God, spend time just listening to Him, He'll talk, I promise.

Step three - surround yourself with good Christians who will keep you accountable.

There's a lot more to it than that, but you get the idea. Once you start filling that God-shaped hole with the shape that fits, you won't need to be filling that void. I'm not saying you won't long for a husband or wife, or kids, or kittens, or carpet samples, but they won't seem like priority #1, because God will have that space.

And just for your info, this message is more for me than it is for any of you reading this. I'm finding more and more that I need God as #1 in all major departments, because He is more important than anything in life. So keep it in mind, take it to heart, put it to practise. All this will be on the final!

My Home!!!!!!

Hey guys,

I'm finally home!!!!! After a very long and hot day at grad and the banquet, I started my trek home at about 8 on Friday night, and made good time. I drove from Saskatoon to Virden in 4 hours, 35 minutes! Of course, I must have been speeding to do that sort of time. But it was late at night, and I wanted to get home and into my pyjamas! So I arrived at 1:35 am, Manitoba time.

My dad woke me up the next morning to let me know that my mom had been in the hospital because she had a gallbladder attack. She was in till Sunday, and now she's out. She's doing better now, thank goodness. So that was pretty interesting. I spent a bit of time in my jammies with my grandma and uncle Ryan while dad went to the hospital to get mom for my great grandmother's funeral.

The funeral was actually pretty good. I mean, no one likes funerals, but you get the point. Pastor Wayne did the ceremony, and it was just really nice. It's not like we were really all that sad or shocked that she died (she was 98), so it was more a celebration of her life. After the service, we went to the legion hall for nasty sandwiches, cheese, and date squares.

I learned that Brett has never tried date squares, so I'm making it my mission to get all the females that I know to drop a pan of them off at his house. Please talk to me, or comment if you're interested in helping the cause. BRETT WILL TRY DATE SQUARES!

After that was a drive to Manson (this is podunk, MB, for those of you who don't know. It's really tiny) for the cemetary thingy. It was also very nice. Jorgia is a moutpiece. A funny one at that. Just sing the McDonald's theme to her, and she goes 'YOU'RE LOVING IT!" Too cute, I tells ya.

After the funeral was hanging out, which we proceeded to do all day.

Sunday was good. I havn't been to my church in AGES! It was so good to see everyone, and get a hug from Taralee. The rest of the day involved napping, watching hockey, going for supper, and watching movies.

Anyway, I'm even starting to get bored with this, so here's a summary of monday:

wake up at noon
print off resumes
eat lunch
mail and drop off resumes
watch tv

soon i'll be watching 24. so there you go!

My Last Full Day

Today has been a long day. I slept in till like 11, and basically have hung out and gone shopping with Nic, and cleaned/rearranged my room. How fun, eh? Tonight we are doing our nails for grad. Should be some good times, I suppose. Yes. But after the banquet, I will be on my way to VIRDEN!!!!! WOOT WOOT! Not saying that I won't miss the CPC'ers. But I'm totally looking forward to home time. WOOT!

Later...

My School Computer

I don't like the school computer lab. I want my internet back! But I guess that's what I get for getting my internet shut off 2 days before I leave.

I miss the white chair, my keyboard, and the quickness and agility of my internet, which doesn't block a site because of a ddr rating of 50 or more.

*sigh*. I also miss MSN.

2 Days. 2 Days. Just keep saying it, Terrin, it will all be over soon.

My, My. Stealing is in These Days

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) smoked a joint
( ) crashed a friend's ...car
( ) stolen a ...car
(pass) been in love ditto, Brett
( ) been dumped
( ) been used
(x) failed someone who hasn't?
( ) shoplifted
(x) been fired 'twas when i was young and not bright...
(x) been in a fist fight colin hayward still rues the day he made fun of me
(x) snuck out of my parent's house does it count if they didn't care?
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back too many times
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a ...blind date
(x) lied to a ...friend again, most of us haven't
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) been to Europe
(x) skipped school oh how i hated theology of worship...
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your myspace...friends
(x) been to The U.S. discipleship 2002!!!!!!!
( ) been to Mexico
( ) been on a plane SOMEONE! take me onto a plane!
( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show I don't know that i want to see it...
( ) thrown up in a bar though i have seen people throw up at the bar
(x) purposely set a part of myself on fire socks are so much fun to set on fire!
( ) eaten Sushi no, but i would like to try, would anyone take me?
(x) been snowboarding
(x) met someone in person from the internet kids at youth group from other towns, though.
(x) been moshing at a concert moshing is a must in the 90's!
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers just prescription/otc stuff... tylenol and the like
(x) love someone or miss someone right now i am SO ready to go home!
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by did it today!
(x) made a snow angel ahhh memories!
(x) had a tea party yes, and i like the band too!
( ) flown a kite surprising that i haven't... will someone show me?
(x) built a sand castle summertime must!
(x) gone puddle jumping behind the saan store were HUGE puddles!
(x ) played dress up yes, but not until age 20
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves childhood must!
(x) gone sledding it's much harder on the body after 12...
(x) cheated while playing a game i cheated while playing cheat
(x) been ...lonely "oooh where are you now... i'm tryin to get by..."
(x) fallen asleep at work/school theology of worship class again...
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sunset don't stare directly at the sun!
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars brett, this is a must!
(x) been tickled it's my achilles heel
( ) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident stupid idiot saskatoonie drivers!
( ) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast i WAS an outcast... but i didn't mind
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night turtle's goes quickly, kids
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight i think this is going onthe must list
(x) had deja vu lol
(x) hated the way you look but i like me now
(x) witnessed a crime if you've been to winnipeg....
( ) pole danced
( ) been obsessed with Post-it notes never understood that phenomenon
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost in winnipeg
( ) been to the opposite side of the country what is the opposite of manitoba?
( ) swam in the ocean another lifetime must...
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep it's comforting, but gladly, doesn't happen often
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls when you were younger with kraig chapman!
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) danced in the rain i want to dance in the rain!!!
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus never believed in that bastard....
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
(x ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about me 'n' tess
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach sounds like another must
(x) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey (yikes)
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in public
(x) ate dog/cat food what?
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them people who throw away their straw wrappers ;)
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) had a little black dress have, actually
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
(x) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes easier to do as a girl, i suppose
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house we had the ULTIMATE tree house! of doom!
(x) are scared to watch scary movies
( ) believe in ghosts
(x) have more than 30 pairs of shoes shoes are a good thing, people
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
(x) played chicken
(x) been pushed or just went into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish & ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you my roommate.... everyday!
(x) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
( ) French-braided someone's hair
( ) Caught a Duck
(x) Stolen A Road Sign
( ) Snuck A Goldfish Into A Grocery Store and placed it in a 4L Water Jug hmmm bad ideas forming...
(x) Broken into someone's house plett never saw it coming!

My Room

Oh, how things are being packed away, laundry is being done, shelves are being cleared... internet is almost disconnected. What's a girl to do? Certainly not study. I have an exam tomorrow. It's my last one. History of the Christian Era... and unfortunately, it's probably the lowest mark of all my classes this semester :S. So yeah. And really, who wants to study about false decretals when it's so nice outside? Perhaps an anonymous stranger with the initials MBR will give me a call tonight and help distract me from my work ;-). lol. Sorry this isn't organized, or really pointed, but that's all you're getting from me right now...

My Music

Ok,

You know what? I don't listen to as much music as you think I do. And I don't own as many cd's, or practise my guitar as much as I should. And I don't really sing, or do much, other than what I have to do for church/chapel/other events. It's odd.

I can probably tell you that It's safe to assume that I own less than 50 cds. I don't know how to play any U2, and I don't usually know what the latest song is on the radio, unless you ask me what 102 is playing lately (which is Thornley, Green Day, and The Tea Party). I used to be obsessed with my guitar. When I first started playing, my guitar was my boyfriend. I spent all my time with my guitar, and never left it's side. I used to have a bedroom in the basement, and I'd bring my guitar along upstairs for supper. But now, the odd time I have a stint of everydayness (like for the past couple of days, Joe has inspired me to learn some more Jack Johnson), but for the most part, my guitar looks pretty, and I tell people I know how to play her somewhat.

I'm sure Piper spends countless hours figuring stuff out on his guitar, and I hear Joe doing it in his room (because Nic's is next to Jord and Joe's).

I don't appreciate Coldplay, Radiohead or any of those 'hip bands'. But I know a lot about 90's music. Nirvana, Pearl Jam (oh yeah, Drisner, I do like 'em), Collective Soul, Soundgarden. You name it, I like it.

So there's some insight to Terrin. Maybe I'll tell you more one day, when you're older.

(Quit Playin' Games With) My Heart

Ok,

I am the queen of singing awful songs at work, school, and just about anywhere. I started 'The Final Countdown', 'The Immigrant Song' and many others. But tonight was a new low. I sang the Backstreet Boys to our cook, Lyndsay, and dearest Amanda. I can't take all the credit though, because Eva, Nic and I were singing it at the top of our lungs one night to piss Jordan and Joe off. (it only half worked, Jord thought it was hilarious).

Through the midst of the business tonight, I became entrapped and highly annoyed by the 'customer pattern'. For those of you unfamiliar with being a cashier, it gets really repetitive. Check it out:

(customer walks into the store): Hi.
(customer walks to till, I scan items): Beep, beep, beep. Hi, is this everything for you (usually include some cheesy obnoxious upsell that our company insists on us doing)?
Ok, that comes to a total of $5.63. Would you like a bag with that?
Ok, six, and 37 cents is your change. Thank-you, have a good night...
Can I help the next customer?

AGHHHHH! All well. I've become a great multitasker because of it. I took my break tonight at 8, and saw I had some mysterious phone number on my phone, plus two missed calls from my sister (Hi Leslee!). So, I pondered all night about that number. I still haven't called it, because about 85% of the phone calls I get on my cell phone are wrong numbers, or work, and I was at work, so that wouldn't make any sense. Multitasking also allows me to think of insane songs to hum in my head, and eventually force upon fellow staff members, and then of course, cause them to sing in their head and aloud while they're working. It's a vicious cycle, I tells you!

Multitasking also gives me time to think about home too. 8 Days. But then, in 8 days, I won't see Nicole, Jordan, Jana, Jason, or Piper for the next 4 months. No more piping hot dates, no more nachos of doom, no more 'blessing' my friends, no more jamming or special ensemble. *sigh*. It's not sad, because I get to come back, and in exchange for these friends, I get more friends! But it's still an adjustment I'll have to make.

Oh, today (well, Friday) is 10 months too. Another thing to think about while multitasking. 10 months. That's the longest I've ever been in a relationship! (So was 9, 8, 7 and 6, but 10 just means more!). It's so neat to see that things have worked out. For those who don't know, I've done the long distance thing before, and it didn't work out the first time... so having to leave in September was not a pretty sight in my eyes. But Brett's stuck around. He must be after me for my money or something.... just kidding. He's a super great guy, and I care for him a lot! After 10 months, I still get butterflies when I see him, and I still think about the first time we kissed, held hands, went out, all that gooshy stuff. You see, I may appear to be a pretentious tomboy, but underneath it all, I really am a 'closet-girly girl'. It's true. Call the press, I confess. It's true. Anyway, I haven't had more than like 10 minutes of alone time with Brett since February, and when I get home, I can't wait to just hang out and be around him. Not in the scary way though, just 'do stuff'. *sigh*... i don't know if that came off sounding creepy or not.... :S.

Anyway, there's my fleeting thoughts, and often random ramblings. Hopefully I didn't reveal too much. In the celebration of gooshiness, I would like to leave you with the lyrics to my favoritest of gooshy songs, written by Michelle Branch:

If tomorrow never comes
I would want just one thing
I would tell it to the stars and the Sun
I would write it for the world to see

That it's you
The light changes when you're in the room
Oh it's you, oh it's you

If tomorrow never comes
I would want just one wish
To kiss your quiet mouth
Retrace your steps with my fingertips

Oh it's you
The light changes when you're in the room
Oh it's you, oh it's you

My.... something....

Hey,

So it's been an interesting week.

Four exams are gone, and one to go!
Interesting that I called about my transfer when I did. Regina 7-Eleven office SUCKS!!!! I called my old store today about my transfer, and they had no idea I was coming back. GRRR! How frustrating is that? Geez.

So guys, it's about 9 days to go, and I'll be home in virden/brandon. I expect cookies. And presents. Just kidding. But it would be nice to see all of you once I get home. I was thinking on Sunday, of course with the permission of my parents/ or maybe brothers, that we have a snazzy gettogether or something. Or maybe to go Oak Lake and burn things like back in the good old days. But yeah, if you're around on Sunday the 24th, come out to Virden to see me in the eve, and we'll have a grand old time!

(reply if you are interested, m'kay?)

My Birthday Wishes

April seems like a month riddled with birthdays. And to me, it would seem inefficient to post numerous posts, addressed to only one person. So, with that said:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE BIRTHDAYS IN APRIL!

ones that i can think of right now are:
Becca
Taralee
Taelin
Nolan
Jay-Z....

i'm sorry if i've missed yours, but it has just been a lapse in memory. you are still important, and definitely not an etc.

My Good News for You All!

Ain't they cute?

For those of you who may be out of the circle, the little guy on the bottom is my new nephew Cohen (whom I get to meet next saturday, I'm so excited!) was in the hospital in a pretty serious condition. He was in there for a week! Anyway, it turned out that he had RSV, and we were all really really concerned!

Leslee sent me an email today, saying they got home, and that he's expected to have a full recovery! Praise the Lord! Thanks everyone for praying and keeping him in your thoughts! I'm so excited to meet him!!!!!

My Courage

OK,

Before you get any ideas, this was not a 'stick it to the man' type of thing. I am a type of person who is deathly afraid of confrontation, and even more afraid of having to stick up for myself in these types of situations. I don't know why, but it's just the way I've always been, unless of course I've been provoked by wild boars or something. Then maybe I'd react differently.

But this is one of those moments that I will remember for a while.

You see, I'm an all talk type of person. If someone pisses me off, I say a lot of things that I would like to say to them, or do, or plot, or whatever. It doesn't happen though, if I'm confronted with the situation. I'm quite easily intimidated by those sorts of things. Again, I don't know why.

Some of you remember a post back in early February that displayed my distaste for a drummer in a band who claims I broke his cymbal. Naturally, I was taken aback by his accusations and felt immediate remorse, and regretfully, I left the situation in a context that led him to believe that I was culpable for the damage done, and would reimburse him for part of the purchase of a new cymbal. Mistake #1. I'll even admit to that.

Mistake #2 was getting angry about it, and saying a lot of swear words. Sorry Piper, your virgin ears must be sore. But after the fact, I realized that I was not the one responsible, and even if I was, I had not been made aware of the frailty of the cymbal, or the fact that it already had a crack, or even that it had originally been intended for this band's 'roadie' to swap the cymbals for a set that the school owned to prevent breakage. So I was angered by the fact that this guy was trying to take advantage of my concern and the fact that I was so taken aback that I was apologetic about it so that he could have a new cymbal purchased by someone else.

So a couple of months go by. I talked about it with several friends and bandmates. They all agreed that it would be absolutely absurd if he thought I should pay. So then came planning to break the news to him. Part of me just wanted him to never show up so I could avoid the issue. But what would I learn from that? Nothing.

So he shows up today, and I've been pondering this since February. I didn't sound angry or try to say mean stuff to him, I simply laid out the facts to him, and expressed that I had absolutely no intentions to pay for it.

I feel so proud of myself that I may just go pee in a few seconds here. Please join me in my pride today!

My Poll

Ok... quick poll...

There is a song called "Into Your Hideout" that was debated over at work.

My question to you, fellow bloggers, is:

Who sings this song:
A) Coldplay
B) U2
C) Pilate
D) Radiohead

you answer, and i shall tell you the correct answer, because only I seem to know it. (the answer is Pilate, smartassess)

My Last Day of School

Today was the last day of classes....

you should know that mr glubish named a cat 'Judas' today.

that is all...

My Warning to You All!

LOL.

So this is the email devotion I got today. I thought maybe I should start paying attention to it, since it's close to checkout time here. Maybe some of you will find it useful too!

AVOID LAZINESS Thursday - April 7, 2005

“Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!” – Proverbs 6:6 On May 5, 2004, a conductor for the Pennsylvania transit authority spotted a suspicious object on the tracks. It had been less than 2 months since terrorists had attacked a train in Madrid leaving 191 people dead. The object the conductor found and removed was a motion detector transmitter and it was near Philadelphia’s massive 30th street station. Agents from the Department of Homeland Security and the FBI soon swarmed the scene. For more than a week investigators were baffled on its purpose.

Finally, a train mechanic stepped forward and admitted installing the transmitter. Was he a terrorist, or a disgruntled employee looking for revenge? No, the mechanic worked the graveyard shift and had installed the motion detector to sound an alarm in his work area whenever his supervisor was approaching. "It was in a perfect place if you wanted to get some sleep and be alerted if your boss is coming," SEPTA security chief James B. Jordan said. "He knew the route his supervisor would be walking across the yard. It appears to be a case of employee misconduct rather than a threat of terrorist activity. I think he is about to begin taking vacation time immediately." Laziness always pays a high price. Today in prayer, thank Christ for the work He has given to you and seek to do it diligently with your whole heart.

“Lay aside the weight of laziness. God is not lazy, nor should His people be! – Wade Hughes, Sr.

God’s Word: “A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.” – Proverbs 20:4

Very interesting, don't you think? So don't be lazy!

Oh update for those of you praying for Cohen. He's in the hospital in Regina, and will likely be there for the next few days. He has a respiratory virus, but there's been an epidemic of it this year. He's improving, but not out of the woods yet. Please keep praying for him! I still haven't met him yet! :S

My Concert (language warning)

Two Words:
Ian fcukin Thornley.

Holy $h1te did this concert ever kick ass! Let's get a rundown of the concert:
Attenders: Terrin and Piper
Cost: $25 each
Location: The Roxy on Broadway
Volume: Ball rattling

We showed up after the first band, because we really had no desire to see them. So we came between the first two, and then had the pleasure of seeing Hurst, from the former Econoline Crush. They were ok. I laughed to myself for a while, because I found it quite funny that I used to idolize Trevor Hurst. He's a washed up 40 year old in a rock band. But nonetheless, it was quite indulgable to hear some old classics like Sparkle and Shine, All That You Are, and You Don't Know What It's Like. Quite indulgable. I could have done without the new stuff. And Piper and I both agreed that he was a much more gifted guitar player than the guy on stage.

After about a half hour wait came Thornley. I tell you, it was well worth it.
They had an awesome mix of new stuff, along with all the old Big Wreck Favorites. Unfortunately, we couldn't stay for the whole show because we were already an hour and a half late for curfew, but just as we were leaving, they were covering All Apologies. Simply AWESOME! For Big Wreck stuff, they did That Song, Inhale, and Blown Wide Open.

There was also a kick as drum solo. This drummer fucking rocks. He did the usual drum solo thing, but then proceeded to drum with one stick in his mouth while he unscrewed his cymbal, started tossing it up in the air, hitting it, and then muting it again, all in kick ass beat. He then poured water all over his set and played. Quite the lovely display. It rocked.

Best show I've been to all year, I swear. I'd have to say my favorite song they did would have to be a tie with That Song and Down... Easy Comes was a VERY FCUKING close second... I tell you, that guy can drum, and Thornley can sure play some kick ass guitar riffs. Brothers, Kroeker was right:

Best. Show. Ever.

My Turn

Two words (c/o tyler and johnny):
I'll decide.

I feel like a child with an overbearing parent lately. This is a decent school, I like going here. Good freinds, good fellowship, the classes aren't hard. You know. But really.

This weekend was probably the best weekend I've ever had staying here. Why? Two people. Brett and Becca. For those of you who don't know, Becca is my old roommate, and Brett is my boyfriend. It was so nice to have them here. They met the people behind the stories, saw the cities, and took some (boring) classes with me.

But it felt like a playdate with an overbearing mother.

Not to knock the RA's at all. I love them. I hang out with them, I joke with them. But please give me at least a little credit. Give Brett some, too. We are aware of the rules put in place at CPC. They're put there to ensure that couples are maintaining healthy relationships, and don't start sliding down the famous slippery slope that can trap couples into going places and doing things they may regret in the future. Don't get me wrong at all. I think these rules are an awesome thing, I have great respect for them.

But it seems to me that any time I'd go within a 3 foot radius of Brett territory, the snide remarks come flying. "That's a slip!" "Don't touch him, you'll get slipped!" "You can't sit beside him, he's your boyfriend!" Ok. I don't think that there's a 'no touching' policy anywhere in the handbook (besides hair... I still don't get that by the way). The school wants to promote people having healthy (Godly, Christian) relationships. They just don't want PDA to be so rampant that people are vomiting from the spectacle that would evidently be presented if it were allowed.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be able to grab a guy/girl's arm or something. There's nothing sexual about that. Making out in front of people... well... maybe that's slightly unacceptable. But I wasn't out to kiss Brett at every instance where no one was looking.

I understand that the rules of the college cater more to those who are just out of highschool, and not used to having 'no authority' (even though I would describe dorm life as basically summer camp in the winter), but I'm approaching 21 here, folks. I've lived on my own, I still pay my own bills, I have held full time job for more than 18 months (and still work that same job, for about 24 hours a week, to pay said bills), I've built healthy responsible relationships, been involved in ministry, and I know what this real world everyone here talks about is like. I think it could even be safe to call me an adult. (Just don't pay attention to those cartoons I watch... or the pranks I play. I know a guy who is 50 who pranks people!)

So let's see. ...
Terrin= 21... fairly mature and responsible. Not a sex fiend.
Brett= 24... very mature and responsible. Definitely not a sex fiend.

So why are we being treated as such? Guess what? If you leave us alone for more than 3 minutes, we're not going to go to the nearest sev to buy some magnums. Most psychologists will tell you that a good thing in a relationship would be to have time alone together. And guess what. Alone time does not always = making out.

I know that for some of you, it was a joke. But it really did kind of hurt my feelings. I don't have impure intentions with Brett. He's an upstanding, respectable, Godly, innocent guy. We've talked about our relationship, and we have both agreed to boundaries. So why would you joke about something like that? Do you have any idea how hard it is to be away from someone you have deep feelings for, and after weeks on end when you finally get to see them again, people are watching you like you're a common whore, waiting for you to screw up? It makes me feel as though I'm just a cheap hooker out on the prowl, lookin for my next trick, and Brett's out to steal my innocence in every sense of the matter.

It's just inconsiderate. Think about how you'd feel if that happened to you (and for those of you who have experienced this, please think about it).

So with all that said, guess what, CPC.
I'll decide.
I'll decide what is inappropriate in my personal relationships.
I'll decide that sexual purity is important, and not just because I signed the covenant.
I'll decide to continue growing a healthy relationship.
I'll decide. Not because of your stupid rules, and judging attitudes, but because I love God.
I'll decide!

Anyway, there's my rant. Please consider it. Oh, and props to Piper for realizing that I wasn't going anywhere until I got a kiss from Brett.