My Turn

Two words (c/o tyler and johnny):
I'll decide.

I feel like a child with an overbearing parent lately. This is a decent school, I like going here. Good freinds, good fellowship, the classes aren't hard. You know. But really.

This weekend was probably the best weekend I've ever had staying here. Why? Two people. Brett and Becca. For those of you who don't know, Becca is my old roommate, and Brett is my boyfriend. It was so nice to have them here. They met the people behind the stories, saw the cities, and took some (boring) classes with me.

But it felt like a playdate with an overbearing mother.

Not to knock the RA's at all. I love them. I hang out with them, I joke with them. But please give me at least a little credit. Give Brett some, too. We are aware of the rules put in place at CPC. They're put there to ensure that couples are maintaining healthy relationships, and don't start sliding down the famous slippery slope that can trap couples into going places and doing things they may regret in the future. Don't get me wrong at all. I think these rules are an awesome thing, I have great respect for them.

But it seems to me that any time I'd go within a 3 foot radius of Brett territory, the snide remarks come flying. "That's a slip!" "Don't touch him, you'll get slipped!" "You can't sit beside him, he's your boyfriend!" Ok. I don't think that there's a 'no touching' policy anywhere in the handbook (besides hair... I still don't get that by the way). The school wants to promote people having healthy (Godly, Christian) relationships. They just don't want PDA to be so rampant that people are vomiting from the spectacle that would evidently be presented if it were allowed.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be able to grab a guy/girl's arm or something. There's nothing sexual about that. Making out in front of people... well... maybe that's slightly unacceptable. But I wasn't out to kiss Brett at every instance where no one was looking.

I understand that the rules of the college cater more to those who are just out of highschool, and not used to having 'no authority' (even though I would describe dorm life as basically summer camp in the winter), but I'm approaching 21 here, folks. I've lived on my own, I still pay my own bills, I have held full time job for more than 18 months (and still work that same job, for about 24 hours a week, to pay said bills), I've built healthy responsible relationships, been involved in ministry, and I know what this real world everyone here talks about is like. I think it could even be safe to call me an adult. (Just don't pay attention to those cartoons I watch... or the pranks I play. I know a guy who is 50 who pranks people!)

So let's see. ...
Terrin= 21... fairly mature and responsible. Not a sex fiend.
Brett= 24... very mature and responsible. Definitely not a sex fiend.

So why are we being treated as such? Guess what? If you leave us alone for more than 3 minutes, we're not going to go to the nearest sev to buy some magnums. Most psychologists will tell you that a good thing in a relationship would be to have time alone together. And guess what. Alone time does not always = making out.

I know that for some of you, it was a joke. But it really did kind of hurt my feelings. I don't have impure intentions with Brett. He's an upstanding, respectable, Godly, innocent guy. We've talked about our relationship, and we have both agreed to boundaries. So why would you joke about something like that? Do you have any idea how hard it is to be away from someone you have deep feelings for, and after weeks on end when you finally get to see them again, people are watching you like you're a common whore, waiting for you to screw up? It makes me feel as though I'm just a cheap hooker out on the prowl, lookin for my next trick, and Brett's out to steal my innocence in every sense of the matter.

It's just inconsiderate. Think about how you'd feel if that happened to you (and for those of you who have experienced this, please think about it).

So with all that said, guess what, CPC.
I'll decide.
I'll decide what is inappropriate in my personal relationships.
I'll decide that sexual purity is important, and not just because I signed the covenant.
I'll decide to continue growing a healthy relationship.
I'll decide. Not because of your stupid rules, and judging attitudes, but because I love God.
I'll decide!

Anyway, there's my rant. Please consider it. Oh, and props to Piper for realizing that I wasn't going anywhere until I got a kiss from Brett.