My God is Not a Credit Card

On my way home from hangin with my brother-in-law tonight (Arby's and Ocean's 12 night! Woo!), I passed a sign that said something like "Searching for the Truth? You can find it in Spiderman, shop at Al's comic store!" It was similar to that, I kid you not. Not even one word of a lie.

And that got me to thinking. What is truth to people who don't understand God? Is God just some guy from the Wish Come True Foundation, here to grant our every wish without consequence? God doesn't really work that way, does He? The Creator, The Alpha and Omega, The guy who sent His kid to die for me is submitting to my every fleshly and earthly selfish desires? Not bloody likely.

Let's get it straight here. God is NOT a credit card, whom we can ask to help us out when we're facing a little hardship. His grace is what He is really offering us. God has not called us to live a life of perfection, but we were created for the purpose of worshiping Him. Did you know that everyone worships something? Some people choose that fat guy sitting in the lotus position, a lot of people worship money (and are so obsessed with it that they ignore the things that are really important), some people worship sex, some people worship sports, and some people worship their jobs (for some bizarre reason). It's nothing that we can resist. It will happen. If you're sitting there at you desk thinking "I don't worship anything," then you are full of shit. Yes, shit. God designed us to be dependant on Him. Some of us are running from it, and a lot of us are in denial.

I'm one of those people. Yes, Terrin, who goes to Bible College, sings songs about Jesus to little kids every Thursday night, and writes papers on sovereignty and gives presentations on generational worship in the church.

Let's face it. It's easier to live and think what you're doing is the right thing, and that God thinks it's ok. Really? Does God think it's ok when I don't do my devotionals, or pray that often? No. I'm pretty sure He's pissed. But when I super-sorry about something, I seem to think it's ok to approach God like the worm that I am, and ask for forgiveness. Is that even allowed? Yeah, but it's if-y. I can tell that God is giving me those 'mom eyes' that we've all experienced in our youth from our forgiving (but frustrated) mothers.

The truth is that I've decided to be one of those people who is dependant on God. Doing anything else is proving to be much more difficult (much like trying to fit those shapes into the hole of those tupperware balls... you know, the red and blue ball with yellow shapes). I mean, am I really worshiping God with my life? Really?

No. That 20 minutes I give on Sunday morning doesn't really even out the rest of the week. Especially if I'm not really into it because I feel like I'm not getting anything from it. Worship is not for the purpose of receiving. It's giving credit where it is due. You know... that whole creator and redeemer thing that God has going on. That's what our worship is about. To quote my least favorite class last semester, "If what transforms emotions into worship is the quickening of the heart's affections, then true worship cannot be expressed as a means to some other end." Translation: We don't worship God to get stuff, we worship Him because we love Him. Worshiping really hard during chapel is not going to coerce God into giving me that extra shift at work next week that I really need. Wrong motives, Terrin.

Just remember this: Worship = giving... NOT receiving.

So here's the altar call... God, I'm sorry for doing that. Sorry I am such a selfish fool who has my own selfish desires in mind instead of Your kingdom. Help me get things in gear and to keep accountable to it.

Amen.